Children can sense classmates’ distress – tell adults about it

Are you worried after the tragic events in Belgrade?

Have you noticed perhaps that not everything is as it should be at your school?

Katja Košir, a doctor of psychology at the Faculty of Arts of the University of Maribor, knows the answers to some of the questions we ask ourselves in similar situations.

Can we identify violent behavior in advance?

People behave differently in crisis situations.

Distress is much easier to notice when it shows on the outside – when we can see someone behaving rudely or violently. This is called lateness.

Internal distress, however, is more difficult to notice. This is why such outbreaks of violence surprise us again and again.

How then can we recognize distress?

Experience so far shows us that in cases of extreme actions (such as shootings) warning signs still exist.

A typical warning sign is withdrawal from society and relationships.

Of course, withdrawal does not always have to be a sign of alarm! It is a very general sign of distress.

Such a withdrawal is most often not followed by aggressive behavior. More often we hear threats or even mentions of what the person will do.

What should worry us most is that despite the knowledge that experts have, we still cannot reliably predict such behavior.

What role do children have in recognizing violent behavior?

Children can sometimes notice much more than adults.

The task of children is, above all, to trust the care of adults.

You are in touch with your peers every day, you find yourself in different situations with them. Therefore, you notice changes in behavior more quickly.

Teachers spend less time with children and thus don’t know their behavior as well as their peers.

How can we act?

A good strategy is conversation – we can ask questions like, “Is something wrong?” “Can I help?” “Are you ok?”

Adolescence is a period of constant change, so it is often difficult to judge when a behavior is a normal developmental change or a matter of concern.

Points to Consider

1. Are you worried about peer violence?
2. Do you talk to adults about it?
3. Who do you trust with your troubles?

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The original version of this article was published on June 2^nd.